I don’t know where to begin. Every day I struggle with the loss of my Charlotte. Poor Bogie, I am sure he is tired of my grief. I don’t blame him. We all deal with grief and loss in our own way, but mine has been going on for quite some time.
As I wake up each morning and get out of bed I look down at the dog pillow where my sweet baby used to sleep. Why did she leave us so soon? Why is she not still with us?
Every day I have to live with the fact that we ended her life. We made the choice. It is not right or wrong, it just is. The hardest decision in any pet owners life.
Charlotte clung to life so tenaciously. She was a trouper in every sense of the word. She fought hard to stay with us. I cherish every single moment I had with her. She was the reason I got up each morning…and she was the joy that I saw each night as I turned out the light.
It has been over a year that we have been without her. It hurts as much this very moment as it did the day she left us. Some will recommend I see a counselor for my grief. But what will that accomplish. Can a counselor bring back my joy, my reason for breathing each and every day? Some might say a counselor will help you feel better. But you see, I don’t want to feel better about losing Charlotte, if it means I feel better about her death, about her leaving us, about my life without her. Why would I?… how could I feel better about that?
I already feel I am losing some of the memories. It makes my heart ache to lose even one small memory of my little darling girl.
She was my JOY. Without her there is very little joy.
Each night when I come home, I cry a little, I die a little, I feel my heart break a little. That’s the story of my dear Charlotte.
Charlotte
-thotlady
P.S. I don’t want sympathy, I just needed to get these feelings written down my dear reader. No thots are needed.